Obama’s Top 5 Failures

I don’t blame Obama for everything.  We all have problems in our lives that he can’t do anything about.  Have you ever washed your hair with the same shampoo for a month and then realized that it was conditioner?  Yeah, me neither.

That being said, he has made a lot of mistakes as President, and I get annoyed with all the Obama apologists out there.  Just because you’re a Democrat doesn’t mean you have to pretend he’s been the perfect president. You can be rational and objective and simply acknowledge that he’s been an EPIC FAILURE.

Here are the 5 biggest failures of Obama’s first term:

Four years in office and not a single ring to show for it.  I thought he was supposed to be good at basketball – didn’t he have a court installed at the White House?  Please don’t tell me about how well he played in the Conference Finals – everyone who is anyone and/or Skip Bayless knows that we measure greatness with championships.

Every year The Capitol forces each district in the country to send one boy and one girl between the ages of twelve and eighteen to participate in the annual Hunger Games, a fight to the death on live TV.  It’s true – I read about it in a book.

Obama campaigned on a promise to end the Hunger Games, but when he met some resistance in Congress he dropped the issue altogether.  These children deserve due process afforded by the constitution some better weapons to fight with at the very least.  #TEAMPEETA

Probably because they don’t allow teleprompters on set!  #LMAO #HILARIOUS #TIMPAWLENTYJOKES

Wouldn’t it suck to be reading this and realize that this is your house?  And you were just getting over the fact that Mitt Romney doesn’t like you.

I grew up in a really small town. A lot of kids I went to school with actually grew up in houses like this.  I generally tried not to talk to them but if I had to I would usually tease them about how shitty their house was.

Everyone knows what this economy needs right now – CERTAINTY.

What are tax rates going to be next year? Are my health care premiums going to go up? Will Paula Abdul be back on the X-Factor next season?  What is the nature of mass in the universe?

FACT:  Obama spent 3/4 of the stimulus on the Large Hadron Collider *

*not intended to be a factual statement

Why hasn’t he isolated the Higgs Particle yet?  Is it because it’s known as the “God Particle”? He probably can’t find it because he’s Muslim – or he killed it in the war on Christmas he’s waging in Afghanistan.




  1. FINALLY! thank you for this. So sick of everyone drinking the obama-aid just bc he’s a dem.

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